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Or the time a friend and I were asked backstage after a play by the show's star, only to find him sauntering around his dressing room in a bathrobe, which fell open to reveal… well, absolutely everything.

When I started an online discussion on the topic, friends were stumbling over one another to offer creepy examples. A crime writer once found herself on a literary panel where a fellow author made a lewd invitation in front of 500 people. He apologised, before leaning over and licking her bare shoulder. Ugh.

A female comedian was invited by two male comics to judge which of the duo was best at masturbation.

Then there was a junior TV producer who admitted to being "almost raped" by her boss's friend in Soho House – only to see him "rewarded" by said boss with a trip to a strip joint. These women are among the strongest I know, yet almost all felt curiously powerless when confronted with the shamelessness of the sexual marauders.

Of course, men can face the same dilemma. My husband once had to sit through a packed meeting in which a female executive kept stroking his leg.

An old friend had to remove a famous actress's hand from his crotch at a smart dinner.

And a pal from the Forces tells of being stripped naked, aged 13, by a bunch of upper-sixth-form girls, who then threw his clothes from the window. He later "filled the ringleader's bag with cow poo", thus demonstrating the sort of cool-headed resourcefulness that's invaluable for life in the Marines.

Male or female, the slobbered-over parties felt pretty helpless – sometimes to the point of paralysis. So it's clear we need a universal "hatpin code" of behaviour for dealing with slimeballs. I particularly admire the example of the woman who swears the best way to deal with unwanted advances is to raise your top and yell, "Come and get me, big boy!", crushing libido and ego in one efficient manoeuvre.

Most of us, however, will be more comfortable with the advice provided by a friend's Scottish grandmother, who, I'm told, closely resembled Dame Maggie Smith. You simply look your assailant in the eye and say in bell-like tones: "Oh dear. Did you mean to put your hand on my thigh/bottom/breast/neck?" This halts all gropers in their tracks – and has even been known to garner a round of applause from the other guests.