Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Teenagers and online porn: Let's tackle it all - birds, bees, love and 'slags'

Those who doubt the extent of the problem should talk to the experts at Childline, who can tell you that there was a 70 per cent rise over the past year in boys phoning to talk specifically about pornography – about how confused and guilty it's making them feel. There are also young men who talk miserably about taking lewd photos of girlfriends, solely to fulfil the expectations of their mates.

As research conducted by the NSPCC for The Daily Telegraph this week shows, almost a third of secondary school pupils believe pornography dictates the way you should behave in a relationship. Meanwhile, 50 girls call Childline every day because they feel under pressure to have sex. Most of these youngsters bemoan the lack of relevant guidance at school.

It is clear that secondary school children need clear and credible instruction on how to identify and resist new sexual pressures. It's no good putting the onus solely on parents because, when it comes to sex, the most influential people by far are the children's own peers; thus you must change the thinking of the entire herd.

But how? Where my mother's generation struggled to learn anything about sex at school, today's children will have to unlearn the clichés of pornography before absorbing more secure templates for relationships. This will require a special brand of embarrassment-proof educator: you can't just dump the task on any wilting, overstretched teacher.

It will need a properly scheduled space in the curriculum and sufficient rooms to divide pupils into single-sex groups when necessary. For how can anyone talk to girls about standing up for themselves when the boy who most intimidates them is in the room – or, indeed, vice versa?

Above all, we need teachers who are brave enough to lead discussions on sexual ethics – and, no, I do not mean "Who's the slag?" Courtesy, kindness and respect have become foreign terms among a generation that scatters profanities like confetti. Yet experience tells most adults that these are vital in the formation of happy erotic relationships.

Thirty-seven years ago, my mother explained the nuts and bolts of sex to her five children in courageously enthralling detail. Predictably, we all said, "Yuck!". To which my dear, naive, knee-sock-wearing Mum unexpectedly responded: "No! It's the most wonderful thing in the world, so long as you do it with someone you love and trust."

In an age in which sexually explicit videos or pictures can be posted online by a disgruntled lover in a heartbeat, such simple advice is more necessary than ever.

Source : http://telegraph.feedsportal.com/c/32726/f/564649/s/30c12829/sc/33/l/0L0Stelegraph0O0Cwomen0Csex0Cbetter0Esex0Eeducation0C10A2837160CTeenagers0Eand0Eonline0Eporn0ELets0Etackle0Eit0Eall0Ebirds0Ebees0Elove0Eand0Eslags0Bhtml/story01.htm